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me |
I'm chilling!!!!
At
this very moment, listening to the raindrops dance on the cars outside my window
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| Moment of Clarity ... |
| 01.23.05 (5:41 am) [edit] |
It's cold as .... cold outside.
BLECH!!!!
I have to go to Kroger...need some vittles for Sunday Dinner. Back to finish my thought in a minute or 30.
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| Now I remember ... I forgot ... |
| 01.22.05 (7:45 pm) [edit] |
My mind has started doing the strangest things lately. 1st of all - it's working! hee hee ... Seriously though, in an effort to conserve space I guess ... my mind has taken it upon itself to rewrite or flat out erase memories.
For example, there are a couple of dudes from my past with whom I no longer deal.
But, I have little to no recollection as to why I no longer deal with them besides the thought [i]"well, I must not be dealing with them for a reason...I don't disconnect from people on GP"[/i].
As you can imagine - this gets a little old, especially in light of their seemingly collective "Get Back" attempts. You see when a brotha is in "Get Back" mode - he does all the right things, says those keywords that you used to love to hear him say, pays attention to how you look, asks you how the j-o is going, inquires about mom/pops/the fam/friends (even the ones you knew he couldn't stand), compliments you on the "impact" that you had on his life while you were together. Empasizes just how much he regrets how things went down...etc; etc; etc;.
It is during these endless diatribes that a sister tends to get a lil [i]fuzzy[/i] on the details. At these times, it would be nice for the mind to trigger the "spidey sense". Not happening for the kid ...
But luckily, one dude in particular (who shall remain nameless -bastid!) who is currently mounting his own "Get Back" campaign, messed around and decided to reminisce about our glorious past, and well ya know ... I know that I forget stuff ... but if things were truly as fuggin' fantastic as this dude said - we wouldn't be ignoring each other's phone calls, right?
As you can prolly tell by now - this post has no real point. Just trynna get shit off my chest ....
Good Night
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| Moving?!?!?! |
| 01.22.05 (6:10 am) [edit] |
It is time to put up or shut up. I've been talking to myself for the last few years about leaving Atlanta.
Now - it seems - is the best time for me to prepare for the move.
Just found out last night - that my friend (the ex-roommate) is going to make the move also.
Now it is time for me to research ... plan and execute ...
Scary ...not really. My problem is not necessarily leaving my friends (I'm only going 3.5 hours away) ... but that [url=http://www.tblog.com/template...]How to Deal[/url] Dude...could (if we don't fuck it up) ... could pose a big heart problem this time next year.
So question is - do I even bother to get close to dude knowing full well that I am going to dip in 12?
He's aware that I am making the move - he will prolly make that decision for me ....
I can't worry about it now - guess I'll just have to let God show me the way.
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| How to Deal? |
| 01.18.05 (3:46 pm) [edit] |
I want to walk the walk with you.
I feel (eyes closed, mind open, heart ready, soul is listening kind of feeling) like you will have a positive affect on me ... and my sons.
I need a man that I can trust, who keeps it real with me, who is not married to/dating/missing/wanting someone else.
I have to feel like you have my back at all times. In public, in private when I am right and especially when I am wrong.
We aren't going to be able to do this thing if you are not ---HERE<----- with me.>
Don't leave me guessing, shaking my head or doubting you ...
If we are to be successful - I have to know in my heart and, most importantly, my mind, that you have my back. I have to feel like you want me in your life - not as an option but a necessity.
I just need to feel you - feeling me.
Don't attack me - ask me.
Never question my motivation - once I tell you what it is. I'm not that deep. When I tell you why - know that is indeed - why.
That's How you deal with me ...
Now can you please give me a cheat sheet, a F.A.Q.'s on How to Deal with you?
How should I react when on the phone, you sound bothered by me - when all I really want is resolution...?
What is the best course of action when you are being unreasonable and inconsiderate?
When you choose to make your negative feelings about me known - do I laugh it off or take it to heart?
Will there ever be time when you'll make the positive feelings known as well?
If you don't want to be bothered with me, right now, today, tomorrow or at all - will you take the time to let me know that?
Please, please, please tell me ... How to Deal with you ...
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| I'm a GEEK |
| 01.12.05 (6:51 pm) [edit] |
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So I just purchased the t-shirt below from [url=http://www.thinkgeek.com]THINKGEEK[/url]
Sometime ago I saw this on someone's website .... I got it immediately and it cracked me up so now I'll have even more reason to laugh at myself in the mirror!
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| Hug Therapy |
| 01.06.05 (4:53 pm) [edit] |
So we are on a little streak of sorts ... My little dude has been less bad at school ...and I think around 6:35 yesterday - I saw my big dude actually ... smile.
I decided to lay down my arms - the belt is fastened neatly in a pair of pants hanging in my closet.
My shoes are lined up haphazardly along the baseboard in my room.
The switch is chilling out side soaking up some much needed rain and I've managed to talk the "Evil Eye" into semi Michael Jordan-esque retirement.
All of the above have been replaced by ... not money or promises of McDonalds or Pizza Hut - no ma'am/sir ...
I have decided simply to HUG them.
Whenever I feel like picking them up and throwing them over the balcony into the bushes - I hug.
Whenever I repeat an instruction to clean/stop/pick up/throw away/get down/sit up/be quiet/shut up/ look at me when I'm talking to you boy ... I hug.
Whenever I feel a serious case of rage boiling through my veins ... I drink Ketel One, chew some Extra! Gum ...and then ... then ... I hiccup...I mean hug.
So far so good ... wait it is 10:03 p.m. on a school night and they are wrestling/yelling/whining instead of sleeping ... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh !!!!
I need a hug!
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| So last night... |
| 01.02.05 (5:05 am) [edit] |
I'm minding my own bizness - watching "Eurotrip" wondering why the film was ever made. So I'm watching this crap on tv and suddenly I smell something burning.
I was sitting on my futon facing my fireplace - the smell seemed to be wafting in from there. I tried to ignore it -even did a crotch and underarm sniff (what?) .... it wasn't me.
It seemed to be getting stronger and deserving of my full attention- so I ran into my bedroom grabbed a sweatshirt and pants...stepped into my sneakers and headed downstairs to my front door. Half expecting to see flames and smoke billowing out from the units below me - I mentally inventoried the possessions I would throw outside if I felt time allowed (the smell was that strong!) I opened the door and was greeted by ,not smoke/flames, but by air that was both hazy and malodorous...something was definitely burning - but what?
I walked down to the parking lot headed towards the street. Just then a late model Volvo station wagon pulled up - its' driver, a middle aged woman, rolling down the window. She asked me if I smelled it - I responded that I did. As she parked the wagon, she informed me that she had called 911 a few minutes ago.
(Great - I wasn't crazy and it definitely wasn't me!)
About 30 seconds went by when, through the leaf-less trees, we saw the fire truck headed - quietly - toward us. (I love living here!).
The fire truck pulls up to the end of the driveway - and a hottie firedude hops down.[i] Muscles rippling through his tight blue firedude t-shirt. The big baggy yellow pants leave much to the imagination. He tipped his big, hard hat in my direction - and gazed "wantingly" into my eyes. His hose - strapped securely on the big long truck was flacid - yet I couldn't help imagining him whipping it around as it swelled with water... He said to me ... Excuse me if this is too forward - after we find what's burning out here ..why don't you and I go inside and start a little fire of our own?[/i] Whooops ... um...er...clears throat ...uh ...
So anywho, fire truck pulls up, and a fireman asks the Volvo lady what she wanted ...they perused the neigborhood searching for the source of the smell.
By this time, another neighbor had joined us in the parking lot... with him he brought his own interpretation of the stench. Apparently, yesterday he smelled something that smelled like BBQ only different ... I recalled that yesterday it did indeed smell but to me it was more like warm trash. I'd just assumed because of the holiday - the community trash had yet to be collected.
Now with this guy and the Volvo lady - I was convinced that we had a corpse rotting in the area somewhere and that someone was burning it to conceal evidence of a crime. Satisfied that this was indeed the case - I bid my neighbors adieu and headed back inside.
What happened next is the reason why I am adding this blog entry.
So once inside - with the 'eurotrip' credits gratefully scrolling up my television. I fired up 'Old Unreliable' aka the laptop ...googled and 'felt lucky' Dekalb Fire (really wanted to know just how close to the fire station we live)..Lo and behold, I was introduced to something I had long forgotten about ... the streaming police/fire scanner sites. [url=http://audio.scandekalb.com/p...]Scandekalb[/url]. Needless to say - I'm addicted! Even now, as I type this I am marveling at all of the activity early this morning.... I've only been listening for about 45 minutes and I've already heard 3 calls for shots fired , chest pains, a seizure, at least 10 traffic stops and 2 residential alarms and just now - a mattress in the far left lane on I285 near Bouldercrest!
I'm half tempted to pick up my phone and dial up an emergency just so I can hear how quickly my call comes across... I said HALF tempted ... I wouldn't tie up emergency resources for my amusement. Nope, instead I'm going to bookmark this site - and wait ... surely, if my "burning to conceal a crime" theory is correct. There'll be a call going out soon and when it does - I'll be listening ....
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| By any other name ... |
| 01.01.05 (4:56 pm) [edit] |
1st let me say that I am incredibly saddened by the unfathomable tragedy and suffering that is the reality of millions in SouthEast Asia. I can't even imagine ...can't even imagine ...
That being said ...
I've pretty much immersed myself totally in the news coverage of this story. Attempting to gain some perspective on the whole thing. I've read articles on all the major's websites ... one thing strikes me as weird ... just a random observation. Nothing too brilliant or enlightening ... you can stop reading now ... really i don't want to disappoint you ...go away!
For whatever reason, in each of the articles that I've read online - the author of said article feels the need to let the readers know that their interviewee goes by only one name. [b]TOLD you it was nothing!![/b]
I dunno ...my brain works funny ... I just notice things like this ...
In any case, it seems to only be the American press who engage in this practice - wonder why!
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